Since I have not posted anything in a couple of months and a dear friend urged me to write a new post....
There is a need here in our community. A huge need, a need that is bigger than I had ever imagined. It is also a need that is more than I could ever handle. It is a need bigger than a group of us could even handle. That is the crux of the matter. I do have certain gifts and talents. My husband likes to point out that my name means "wise woman" or "woman of knowledge." I am learning, though, that even "wisdom" is a curse if it is not the right kind. The Bible says, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom." (Psalm 111:10) Also God "wants you to ask for His wisdom (James 1:5). When you trust in the Lord and His wisdom with all your heart, instead of trusting in your own wisdom, God will 'direct your paths,' and His wisdom will be 'health to your flesh and strength to your bones'" ( Proverbs 3:5-8). ( Life Lessons from The Princess and the Kiss, p. 22)
The Apostle Paul said that he could do many amazing things, but if he lacked love, he was nothing. I think that is the beautiful paradox that God does in my life (and I suspect maybe in yours too). Like Moses, He raises us for a certain purpose. Like Moses, I, too, must learn that it isn't the way I think it should work. I cannot do anything apart from the Lord. I need to be surrendered to Him at all times. He might have made me a certain way, destined me for certain things, but it needs to be done His way and in His timing. I always felt bad for Moses when he hit the rock. Here is Moses...He has been raised in Pharoah's court. He is going to lead his people out of slavery, right? Then God humbles him, teaches him, raises him up His way and sticks him with a grumbling, ungrateful bunch of folks to lead. God uses him to do many incredible things. Then the people are grumbling, yet again, and God tells him to speak to the rock to bring forth water. He hits the thing (I seriously can't blame him, I probably would have hit one of the grumblers) and he is barred from entering the promised land. Ouch.
Still in all that there is my lesson. I am thankful that the mighty Moses, the highly educated Apostle Paul and countless others have struggled there. When it all boils down to it, the real question is do I trust the Lord or myself? I know myself and I know the Lord: A wise woman would trust the Lord.
There were different kinds of slaves in the Hebrew realm. The one I think of is the bondslave. In Hebrew culture a fellow Hebrew could sell himself into slavery for a certain amount of time to pay a debt. At the end of that time, if the slave wanted to bond himself to his master for life they took him out and pierced his ear. The master was so good and trustworthy that a person would want to serve him for the rest of their lives; to even be marked in their body for everyone to see that they were a bondslave. That is where I am with the Lord (not perfectly, but it is my heart). That I am His bondslave. That also means that I do not act on my own understanding, but represent my Master and do as He says every moment.
God's ways are simple and paradoxical at the same time. We walk after our Master when we die to live and become slaves to live free. The needs will always be bigger than I am whether I have had "experience" with a certain problem or not. Nothing is bigger than my Master. He is truly worthy of my trust.
Now with all that said... I am ready to go out and probably trip and fall right on my face.